there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
