he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
