Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize