last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
