i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
