I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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