in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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