Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
