She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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