1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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