i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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