oh fat girl friday strikes again...
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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