Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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