Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
