if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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