i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
where does the pee come out of this thing
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
