Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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