I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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