tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
