Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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