Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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