You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
