She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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