I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
