If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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