you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
