I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
50% drunk capacity currently
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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