I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
