It's a beautiful day for a hangover
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
organizing the empties. That sober.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
