I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize