When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
