Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
When are your genitals available?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
