Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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