I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize