I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
