I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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