I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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