I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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