I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
We talked him into tasing himself.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
