I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize