If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
