BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Randomize
