OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
my shit smells like andre
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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