I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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