I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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