You just made me feel so damn special
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
