Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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