this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
