So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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