we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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