Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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