I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
