I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize