im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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