i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
