First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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