Soap is not a condiment
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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