so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize
