So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
