It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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