There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
