maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
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