You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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